Ink Stained Heart
by Sopherdoodle
Summary: What if Sean and Jay actually did get those tattoos from the mini? Around Queen of Hearts aka season for. Sean/Emma, Sean/Jay.


This takes place around the time of Queen Of Hearts. This is also based loosely on the webisodes. It's a little lame, but whatevskies, I love fluff.

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He stared at his ceiling, arms resting behind his head, making shapes out of the indentations in it. He saw a face imprinted in the tiles staring back at him but couldn't quite distinguish who it was. The face started to get clearer and clearer to him, he squinted his eyes trying to decipher who his conscience was trying to show him. He had only been there for a few months, and every morning the same face appeared to him on the ceiling. Every morning he had to get going to school or get up before he was able to tell who it was staring back at him. Not today. He was going to stare there until the figure was clear, until he knew what his mind was trying to show him. He needed to know, it had been bugging him ever since he got here, ever since he had to say goodbye to it all.

BRRIIIING. The doorbell was ringing just by his room. BRIIING BRIING. He blinked his eyes quickly, losing any chance he had of figuring out who his brain was trying to show him. He rolled his eyes, frustrated. He got out of bed, running to answer the door. He was only wearing boxers, but figured no one around here would mind if he answered the door that way. His parents were out of town, but they probably wouldn't have minded anyway.

He yawned streching his arms over his head walking over to answer the door. Hearing his stomach grumble loudly, he silently hoped that the person on the other side of the door was a pizza delivery man. Chances were slim, but a boy can hope, right?

BRRRINNG. "Alright! I'm coming!" Sean exclaimed, running over to the door. He opened it quickly expecting a salesman on the other side.

He smirked slightly staring back at the guy he considered his best friend back home.

"Hogart, man. Hey!" Sean smiled giving his friend a high five, "What are you doing around here?" He asked, glancing around to see if he brought anyone with him, Alex, Ellie. Emma.

"What's wrong with visiting your buddy once in awhile?" Jay slapped Sean's back, pushing through him to enter his house. "Yeah, this is definitely a lunchbox," Jay commented, looking around Sean's parents' house. Sean rolled his eyes slightly, Jay was acting the same exact way he did when he dropped him off.

"So you just drove up here by yourself?" Sean asked, glancing Jay up and down. He sniffed a bit noticing the strong smell of alcohol coming from Jay. He shook his head in disgust wondering if this is what he was like back home. "You're drunk already, man? It's barely noon," Sean pointed out sarcastically rasining his eyebrow.

"Yeah, I just felt like coming up here," Jay explained staring at Sean, "And of course I'm not drunk yet!" Jay exclaimed, sounding mad that Sean even mentioned that. Sean crossed his arms, glaring at Jay. "It's from last night, okay? Since when are you like my dad?" Jay joked, punching Sean on the arm, kidding him.

Sean kept a serious face for a beat before smirking and chuckling at Jay. "That's the Jay I know," He smirked, punching him back.

"What's there to do around here?" Jay asked, "Anything interesting?"

"No, not really," Sean added, it was true. There was nothing for him to do around Wasaga except school. All there was was a movie theater that showed indie movies, a trendy coffee shop and a tattoo parlor. Three places that weren't exactly Sean's idea of something fun to do.

"Let's go for a ride then," Jay suggested, "Better than nothing." Sean shrugged following Jay out the door. He was halfway out the door before remembering he was only in boxers. He ran back in the house to quickly grab some jeans and his wifebeater. He wondered why on earth Jay was there and more so why he was alone.

Sean walked out of the house to find Jay sitting in his car, staring out blankly. He looked as if he was deep in thought thinking about something. He seemed vulnerable, as if the tough exterior Jay always has was broken down. Sean headed over to Jay's orange car and opened the passenger seat door. When Jay noticed Sean was there, he suddenly got himself back to normal. The lost daze on his face suddenly cleared and his usually y expression returned. Sean recognized the blank expression. Even since he moved to Wasaga he'd been feeling blank, as if all of the life was sucked out of him. He left Toronto so he didn't have to face what happened with the shooting.

He didn't want to express his emotions so he thought running away was the next best thing.

Sometimes he wished he would have just stayed there, dealt with it there. It would have been better than the lifeless and empty feeling he felt now.

"Quit daydreaming about some random Wasaga chick and Get in the car, man!" Jay exclaimed. He must have interrupted Sean having a similar expression on his face to the one Jay sported a moment before. Sean wasn't even thinking about girls recently. He just missed home. The only girl he saw was the one looking back at him on the ceiling every morning, he could care less for the ones at school. Sean hopped in the car and quickly buckled his seatbelt. Sean barely shut the door before Jay sped off.

"So, really, why are you here alone?" Sean asked, curious, "Why didn't you bring Alex or something?" Jay shifted a bit nervously in his driver's seat. The question Sean asked seemed to strike a chord with Jay. Sean wondered if there might have been trouble between the two while he was gone. They seemed inseperable, like they'd never grow apart. Sean knew of Jay's cheating, but Jay always knew how to hide it very well. It couldn't have been that.

"She found out, man," Jay muttered under his breath. Alex did find out he cheated on her. Sean was shocked. Jay hid it very well, and he genuinely cared about her. He wouldn't do anything except cheat to intentionally hurt her.

"About the ravine? Amy? Everything?" Sean asked, although he knew the answer. He was still surprised that Jay actually got caught. Sean knew about Jay's cheating from pretty much the moment he met him. He pursued Amy as well. Sean never cared about Amy, she was just a rebound to him. He was rebounding from someone he really cared about when he got with Amy. He could care less what Amy did with Jay, after all, she had been with practically every guy in Toronto.

Jay just nodded. Sean could tell he was really hurt by this. He never saw Jay show emotion like this before. Losing Alex must have been a big deal to him. Suddenly, they pulled up in front of the tattoo parlor. Sean wondered how on earth Jay found it. Jay parked the car, staring at the sign on the door in front of them.

"I want her back, and I know the way," Jay said, eyes not moving from the tattoo place. Sean gave Jay a confused look before turning back to the tattoo parlor. What was Jay thinking? Sean knew Jay was never wise with his decisions, he always had to be the voice of reason when the two of them hung out. Sean looked at Jay confused, waiting for him to speak. Jay didn't speak at all. He got out of the car quickly. Sean followed trying to figure out what Jay was going to do. He probably wanted to get a tattoo of Alex or something.

"I'm getting a tattoo with her name on it," Jay mumbled. Sean was close, it wasn't her picture, it was just her name. He felt he should stop Jay, but this time he didn't. He felt that maybe Jay needed this. "You should get one too, with that cute little red head's name on it.," Jay added. Sean stopped in his tracks. Ellie hadn't even crossed his mind since he left Toronto. The only time he thought of her was when the stuff he left back there was sent in the mail. He used to care about her, but for some reason she no longer crossed his mind. He didn't want to get a tattoo of a girl's name that he didn't even think about as much as he once did.

Sean followed Jay into the tattoo place, two guys with tattoos and piercings galore were staring back at them, glaring at them. He glanced around the room looking at all of the pictures of tattoos that have already been made. He thought about getting a tattoo, maybe not even of a girl's name. He chuckled thinking about what Emma would say to them now.

Emma. The girl he saved from Rick's gun. He didn't know what he wouldn't have done if he hadn't saved her. She has always been the voice of reason for him, ever since he came back to Degrassi. Without her, he probably would have dropped out of school a long time ago.

She saved him, and he needed to save her. He didn't even think about the risk of himself getting hurt. He knew Rick wasn't after him, and he could have ran away. He couldn't let Emma get hurt, he never would. Even when they were broken up he needed her to be there. Just knowing she was there somewhere was comfort to him. She was his stability. If he lost her that day, he has no idea what he would have done. He hates thinking about it. He was so glad he got to talk to her before he stayed in Wasaga, he didn't want her to hate him forever. He felt terrible about everything that happened between them freshman year, and was glad she was fine about it when she last saw him.

Then it hit him. The face, the face he saw on the celing. It was Emma. He just knew it! It was clear to him now. The same face he saw staring out of Jay's back window played over and over to him. It was Emma he woke up to every morning, the last image of her he saw played over and over in his head. It broke his heart watching her ride off with Jay, knowing that she wouldn't be around at his school anymore to make him feel stable.

"Dude," One of the tattoo guys waved his arm in front of Sean's face. "Your buddy is almost done with his tat. He'll be out in a minute," The guy explained, giving Sean a weirded out look. "Still want one? The same one as he got? With some chick's name?"

"Yeah," Sean replied, surprising even himself. "Actually, I do." The worker looked at Sean like he wanted him to say more. He motioned to Sean to keep talking.

"I'd like it to say.." Sean started, taking a deep breath, "Emma."

"Cool," the guy said, giving Sean a thumbs up. "Come in this room and we'll get you set up in a minute."

Sean followed the guy grinning from ear to ear. He felt completely empty knowing she wasn't around. Now she could be, in a completely different way. Now she could be close to his heart forever.


End file.
